Subject: PC 23rd Psalm To: All From: J.J. Hitt
The Politically Correct 23rd Psalm (22nd for Roman Catholics)
1 The one to whom I owe allegiance is my genderless primary-lesser-earth- creature-workperson, who also furnishes my requisite needs and comforts.
2 It provides a verdant rain forest for me to habitate as the co-equal of other earth creatures, spirits, sprites, trolls, gnomes, hobbits, and extraterrestrial beings; It identifies and ensures that I have a source of toxin and pollutant free drinking water.
3 It makes me a better, though not superior, person; It directs me as to how best attain the epitome of my personhood pro bono, e.g. without im- posing any obligation or indebtedness in return.
4 Even were I to ambulate the span of the concave geological formation of the spectre of impending mortality, I shall not succumb to any anxieties concerning contemporary social mores or restrictions; as It shall protect me with Its presence; Its agents and their staff shall affirm and expand my constitutional rights and privileges - whether real or imagined - and allow me to pick and chose theistic beliefs or reject such superstitions.
5 It endows me with food stamps despite "mean-sprited" GOP budget-cutters, It gives me unlimited amounts of non-contaminating and earth-friendly petroleum substitutes; I shall have more than I could possibly consume.
6 I am guarantied affluence and full exemption from legal liabilities and responsibilities for life; and I shall live hedonistically forever in a welfare state without work requirements.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sashayed into a Gay bar.
Origin: The Infallible Point